Loving What Is by Byron Katie is book number 1 of 13 on my first list of must read books. As mentioned in my previous blog, my list of must read is comprised of books that I own but have yet to read. Yes, I have books collecting dust and books growing old with unturned pages. I did begin reading Byron Katie's book when I first received it as a gift from a fantastic life coach ... oh okay ... my life coach and her name is Laura McReynolds and she's amazing.
I put Ms. Katie's book down, on top of my nightstand only to be distracted by another book that I just had to have and well, soon Loving What Is became the fourth book down in a pile of what I call good intention. I must eat a few words from my earlier blog ... I had stated that I bought all the books I own but in truth I receive many books as gifts from those who know how much I love books. Not everyone knows what books I have or don't have and subsequently my husband and mother-in-love have gifted me with four copies of The Celestine Prophecy; need a copy?
Back to Byron Katie's book, Loving What Is. I intended to begin reading the books on my list starting on the 9th of March only to fail. I failed first due to personal reasons and then on the 11th of March our world was shook up through the tragedy that fell upon Japan. I became glued to the news like a tick on a country dog. One day melted into the next with current news always trumping the news from the day before. I became a victim by opening myself to the chaos of the world ... I could not not watch the news! I eventually realized I was beyond extremely upset, and overly emotional. I was a wreck. I was suffering from the after effects of a 9.0 earthquake with a devastating life changing tsunami and a war in Libya. Ugh! Today, my heart cannot absorb anymore commentary about people dying. I don't want to hear over and over and over the same story about nuclear reactive fallout. I am unhinged over political agendas that keep changing quicker than the direction of the winds. Now is a good time to back away from the news and put my nose in a book; seriously. But, before the earth shook and before the ocean breached her shoreline and before the NFZ I did put Ms. Katie's book in my purse with good intention of reading. Intention of reading a lot more than I did. With Loving What Is in my purse I can steal a word, a sentence, a paragraph here and there. I would read and do read when I have a few extra moments between running errands and being a taxi cab for family members. On each page I read I make notes to not only help me absorb the information being shared but notes to jog my memory when retelling of my adventure between the pages of Loving What Is. As of today, 22nd of March, I am proud to report I have managed to make it through the introduction. At the same time that I am proud of my literary accomplishment I am also acutely aware of how much time I have wasted because of distraction and fear. Today I also announced to my family I am on vacation from the news ... not that I don't have compassion and empathy for the suffering of my global sisters and brothers because I do. In truth I am disconnecting from the news of the outside world because I have to, I need to, I want to. I am taking a hiatus from being worldly informed because I feel so much. I am a wreck emotionally, mentally and physically. I need to nourish my heart and soul and give myself time to soften. I need to relax, to not get carried away emotionally tangled up in news stories I read about and supposed news stories I hear coming from the mouths of talking heads. I need to live my life and not neglect my spirit in this present moment of the here and now of where I live.
As I write this evening I am thinking, "why have I not attended to what makes me happy for so long?" I don't have an answer. What I have, in this moment is the awareness of the beautiful feeling that comes from doing what makes me happy. Reading a book makes me happy. Writing makes me happy. Working with my gourds and giving expression to my creativity makes me happy. So, in order for me to get back to Loving What Is I will close for tonight with a quote I discovered on page vii of the introduction.
"The more clearly you understand yourself and your emotions, the more you become a lover of what is." ~ Baruch Spinoza
(Image of Baruch Spinoza compliments of Google Images)
I believe in synchronicity and the fact that I am reading this particular book at this particular time for me, is one of those events. Or so I think ...